Top 9 Lessons I Learned in Youth Ministry

As you may know, I recently stepped out of 5 years of youth ministry at my local church and into a new role in ministry.  I compiled the following top 9 lessons I learned in youth ministry as a gift to my successor, an anointed young lady who has been on my leadership team for years. This post was originally a document addressed to her, but hopefully you do not need to fully understand our context in order for some of this to resonate in one way or another.

To Sharon!  a.k.a “Share-Bear”

You have been prepared and appointed by the Holy Spirit for such a time as this. You are going to do an amazing job.

1. Leadership is Lonely

There is an old saying, “when you are called, you are separated.”  This does not mean that you are separated into some magical special place of pastor-hood where you and God meet for breakfast on a mountain and He permits you to gaze upon His Glory. No, now that you are the leader, YOU will ultimately be making the calls and that will separate you. Especially the hard calls. When left on the tough side of a decision, you might find yourself at a very lonely place. Grow accustomed to this place; God didn’t call you to an easy job. But don’t grow accustomed to the loneliness.  Loneliness is the first thing that God deemed “not good” (Gen 2:18) and it is still true today. More than ever you will need the Body of Christ. Open your eyes to the support and companionship around you that is not at your church.  These partners will become your lifeline. Remember exhausted Elijah at the end of his rope? God encouraged him by sending him to where and to whom? (1 Kings 19:18,19)

2. A Bad Plan is Better than No Plan.

God has called you to lead His people. That is your job; your appointment is to lead people to Jesus by taking their hand and placing it in Jesus’ hand. There will be times when you do not know what to do and you will ask God what to do and not hear an answer.  That might even be most of the time. But at the end of the day, people are going to follow you even if you don’t know where you are going, especially lambs. In these times, have faith in the God who has faith in you and make a plan. (Prov. 16:3) Sure, there will be times when that plan will be to “wait on/for the Lord” (Isa. 40:) but I have found that this is often more of a cop out than a solution. When you are reluctant to lead, you lead reluctance within your community.  Be bold as Paul was bold and say, “Hi, my name is Paul, and I have been appointed by God as an apostle and called by name, so FOLLOW ME as I follow Christ… and tell your friends too.” You want a bold Spirit filled youth group who is confident in who they are in Christ. Believe in the God who believes in you, he knew what He was doing when He appointed you.

3. Lead from Your Knees.

Two things happen when a pastor leads from this foundational posture of humility:

1. Service is magnified from your knees. When you serve your leaders like Jesus and lay your life down for them, you earn the voice to speak into their lives and you earn the right to lead them.  How can your leaders bad mouth you or question your heart when they are looking down at you as you wash their feet? Servant leadership (Mark 10:45)

2: Prayer sets the tone. Let’s just say you need to start asking yourself some questions when a week goes by that you have not prayed and fasted for your pastor, youth leaders, and youth group by name. The bottom line is, if you don’t lead from this place, something is wrong and ask for forgiveness.  We are talking about kids lives, God’s little ones, and a higher accountability under God as a teacher. (James 1:3)

The truth is, you WILL make mistakes. But when you heart and character is not in question, people tend to let it slide a lot easier.

4. Families Make the Best Disciples

I wish I could give you a scripture about youth ministry from the Bible, but I don’t know any.  The truth is a mom and/or dad is more influential than any program or service will ever be.  Family trumps Youth Pastor. Parents are already (this is not always true obviously) discipling their kids and their love and parenting will make a bigger impact than anything we say. Partner with Parents.  It is not your job to raise their kids. Speak with all the parents you can at church on Sunday mornings, rather than just the kids, you’ll see the youth at youth group. Call them at work, send them a newsletter, have them over for dinner. I have heard it said that “parents are your greatest asset.” Well, that is backwards. God gave a kid parents for their entire life, you are lucky if you get two years. Partner with parents when making disciples to maximize effectiveness and make an eternal impact.

5. Every Youth Pastor’s Endgame is Discipleship

When people talk about “growing” a youth group any other way than discipleship… I get nervous.  Here is the formula: healthy things grow. A “healthy” disciple of Jesus Christ is obeying the Father by making disciples and baptizing them. This is your endgame. Look at your kids, do you have enough leaders assigned to them for discipleship? Are your leaders picking up kids and their friends and bringing them to church? Are they at student’s baseball games and on their Myspace page? I have heard it said, “discipleship is caught, not taught.” Discipleship happens by leaders and students spending time with each other, but you might have to teach them that.

6. Youth Groups Don’t Have Their Own Mission Statements

God has called your entire community of faith to a particular vision and will hold your senior pastor responsible for this vision. If you have submitted yourself to him or her, than the youth group should be an extension of this vision. Honor your pastor with this commitment.  If you have been commissioned by the Lord to serve these people, than you have been commissioned to serve your Pastor as well. Scripture instructs us to make their job easier (Hebrews 13:17) Mission statements can be powerful, just make sure your senior pastor helps you write it. Ask yourself if it is more powerful to re-write your church’s mantra or to have an army of young people who lead the adults into embodying this statement and living missional values centered on the church’s values?

7. The Word of God Transforms Lives, Not Game Night.

There is one particular parable found in Mark that is not recorded in any other Gospel accounts. It is only 3 verses long and you can find it in Mark 13:26-29. In this parable, Jesus illustrates the power of the seed. As you know, the general focus of Jesus teaching in similar parables concerns the soil; rocky, thorny, uncultivated, etc. But in Mark’s version, Jesus illustrates an alternate scenario in which a farmer simply scatters lots of seed and much to his surprise, the next morning wakes up to find a developing harvest.  I have heard it said, “don’t blame the seed, blame the soil.” But only time will tell if that seed has taken root, you may never see the fruit. Always teach God’s word, because there are times when that is simply enough for God to interrupt someone’s life and for that seed to take root for a harvest.

8. Community is A By-Product of The Mission

Is there time for a game night? Maybe. But I have never done one.  I imagine the thinking behind game night is to create an environment to fosters community, giving kids more opportunity to connect.  Community is a pillar of the church no doubt, but chasing community is backwards. Chase mission. Real authentic relationships, the ones that endure, are a byproduct of the common pursuit of mission.  It will be the mission trips, retreats, and outreaches that bond kids together, not Guitar Hero. Remember our first mission trip to Mexico? We called it “camp on steroids.”  Between ripping out carpet, painting, Bible study, and VBS, we didn’t have time to chase community.  But what happened when we got back? We were so focused in Mexico on the mission, advancing God’s Kingdom and loving and serving His people, that we didn’t even notice the glue which had developed amongst us. We returned as a real community with Christ as our foundation.

9. Discipleship Takes Place Within The Context of Discipleship

It always saddens me when a teenager tells me she is not ready to make disciples of her own or that she feels unqualified to do so. Discipleship can begin with nothing more than a foundational understanding of the Gospel message. At that point it is GO TIME. Jesus said, “You will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) Does that means that holding back the Truth may in turn keep someone in chains? And I don’t have to tell you that I am not a fan of the “blow horn guy.” Haha, no one is! When I say discipleship, I definitely define that ancient language to include ministry through relationship… relationship coming first.

Jesus has instructed us to make disciples and to baptize them. (Matt. 28:18) One day when we stand before His throne, He will ask us how that went. Think about baptism; what would it look like to have an army of young people leading their friends to Christ and then baptizing them, (young people, not you!) in front of the entire congregation on a Sunday morning.

0o0o0o… I’m getting chills.