Maybe I am just a nancy pants follower of Jesus.
I certainly can’t compete with the original twelve disciples (ok maybe 11!) that Jesus chose as His roll dogs. Those guys gave it all up for their Rabbi, till the wheels and the hubcaps fell off. But honestly, when should we say no?
I was asked to speak at a church this Wednesday- it would have been the third Wednesday in a row speaking at another church other than my own; I declined. My reasons are irrelevant, “priorities.” But here is my question: is that what Jesus would have done? Or should I just “grow some” for the Kingdom?
I have been reading the Gospels a lot lately, spending a lot of time on what Jesus had to say. This is not to say that the words “in red” are necessarily more inspired than the rest of Scripture, but have you read any of his one liners lately? Jesus was radical and his original disciples were pretty hardcore. There is this one story were Jesus is so completely exhausted from ministry- healing teaching, and confronting the demonic, that scripture say he literally tries to ESCAPE from the crowds on a boat. Someone finds out where he is going, (PAPARAZZI can be crazy!) and they run around to the other side of the lake on foot and catch up with him as he arrives. An entire crowd of people is there when he steps off the boat! Exhausted, but moved with compassion, scripture says, Jesus continues to minister to them. And you know that if Jesus was tired enough to escape, he must have been at His breaking point already. Maybe this is the reason he could sleep like baby on a boat that is capsizing in the middle of a storm! Whatever the case, Jesus is famous for warning people that the Kingdom of God will cost you everything. Did He mean that?
I have only been in full time ministry for about three years and married about the same. Here are the two guidelines I have come up with when it comes to navigating busyness and conflicting opportunities.
- Be strategic. I am pastor and a husband. Ultimately when I stand before the throne, God is going to ask me how I managed what He gave me and who he gave me. My marriage and youth group come first. I don’t think He is going to be impressed, reward me, or hold me responsible for all the things He never asked me to do.
- Will I see these people again? Relationship is the only thing I can think of that is eternal in this life. If I am apart of something that builds friendships with people that I am going to see again, I am down. In a day in age where a pastor has to “earn” influence into a young persons life, this can take time. The most effective ministry I have seen flows through relationships.
- Ask the WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY iphone application!
Like I said, I’ve only been in the game a few years. There are plenty of pros out there who I would love to hear from; lets make this a marathon not a 100 yard dash.
Those are great starting questions: “What are you called to do and who are you called to do it with?”
Early in ministry I used to think that I had to say yes to every opportunity. Then I realized there are always more opportunities than there are ‘yeses’. Then somebody wise told me that “your no’s define you more than your yeses”.
Ultimately I had to search my heart. If my motivation was anything other than truly serving the people I was being asked to speak to (like if it was for a ‘cool’ opportunity, or the money, or fame, etc…) or if it put my primary calling in jeopardy I had to say ‘no’.
And remember, for every one thing Jesus said yes to, he said no to a million other things (being in Capernaum meant He wasn’t in Jerusalem at the same time). Sometimes just say no because you don’t want to go or you need the night home…and don’t feel guilty about it. As you are heading across the lake from that opportunity, the other shore may await with a new opportunity to serve your wife or kids or neighbor, etc…
Hey bro, nice thoughts… Good to see you thinking man. Priorities are very important and yes we must learn to balance and at times say no… All with the help of Gods leading… Relationships must be a priortity in all we do… 3 years and counting, you have been blessed with some good wisdom in 3 years bro… Keep it up!
Tim,
Thanks for the note! I like how you tied it all together with the shore as a metaphor! You’re such a pastor! Thanks for the personal response and encouragment!
Big Mike D!
It’s true what you said, balance IS priorities! Wish we were still doing camps together! Keep representing in Bakersfield!
Hey Justice,
Yes, Jesus meant it when he said you may have to give everything. “Everything” is a term that is different to everyone, you need to decide what your “everything” is and decide if that is what God is asking you to give.
You asked “What would Jesus do?”. Yes he escaped, yes they found him and yes he continued to teach. BUT in other situations he did rest. He did take aside his closest disciples and have quiet times. He did go into the desert for 40 days. Jesus had to seek solace in order to be refreshed. Yes he’s God, yes He could have done it all with NO sleep. But he came to be an example to us and show us, among several other things, that ministry involves rejuvenation. God took a sabbath right?
Jesus spoke because who else would have? If you don’t speak at a youth group one week, who will? The leader there? the teacher there? Yes your message might be cooler and great BUT maybe other leaders need to follow that lead and pick it up a notch as well? As you said dude, your youth group is your number 1. They are the sheep that God gave you and you are doing a steller job. Others see that and of course they want you… maybe, just maybe they need to step it up as well…
Saying “No” at the right times is never a bad thing…
Thanks Lacey, I always look forward to hearing what you have to say!
Justice, did you say no because you wanted to spend more time with your wife? If so, then more power to you. So called m”ministry” will always be there. In a few years you might even be out professional ministry and working for a secular company, but your wife will be there a lot longer. Enjoy your life while you are young and together.
Years ago, after watching the big monkey monks of my ex-denomination pick and choose whom THEY wanted to be around according to their importance and ability to promote the leaders’ projects, I made the following my motto: Never put projects before people because projects are not made in God’s image, but people are and God does not take messing with his image too lightly.
Justice,
I liked what you had to say and it is a very good question. Here are my thoughts for what they are worth. You are absolutely correct in saying your priorities are Your Wife and some day kids and then your current youth group as you are a pastor there. You do need to keep your commitments. However, if the hesitation comes from ministering at someone else’s church simply because it is not your church or denomination (not that I am suggesting that this is your hesitation), I would say yes. Man up and grow a pair for God as you put it.
I can not tell you how many times I have seen Senior pastors get uptight and defensive about one of their patrons ministering at someone else’s church and God forbid and different denomination. That fact is God is coming back for his Bride/Church. That is not plural. Especially if your opportunities are coming from another church through relationships you have established, RIGHT ON BRO!!! DO IT!!! As you said, relationship is key in ministry. I have been very humbled and honored every time I have been offered someone else’s pulpit and even more so when it is a different denomination. What a shame, but this just does not happen today. I enjoy breaking down these barriers. That is what they can become sometimes in the established organization of CHURCH, simply a means of division amongst God Church because of where our asses sit on Sunday.
I hope this finds you well.
Thank You,
Ken West
Ken, I didn’t get that at all from Justice’s post.
I agree, Justice, that you are on the right path. If you take every invite you get, and neglect your own youth group or family, in the end you will have nothing to show for your ministry.
I was a youth leader/pastor from 1970-1982 before planting my first church. For the first 6 years, the group ran 15-25 and we did everything together. I was just learning about ministry and was not all that great as a teacher or leader. But I spent enormous time with the kids and intense discipleship happened organically.
Then in the next 4-5 years the group grew to about 250! All in a church running under 200, so the growth did not come from church kids. Now, 25+ years later, I am in contact with most of the kids from the early years; many are pastors and/or leaders. On the other hand, I have lost contact with virtually all from the “sucessful” years, except from the core of 25 leaders who served by my side, most of whom came from the first group.
A long story after a lifetime of ministry, all to say that those you invest time in will serve Christ for a lifetime. The masses…well they seem to always be the masses. I agree you need to give your all, but note that Jesus gave his all to the disciples, not the masses: “But Jesus…would not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people” (John 2:24).
It was not the masses, but the disciples who changed the world. So, I would ask you, not how many churches did you speak in last year, or even how many is your youth group running, but more importantly, HOW MANY DISCIPLES are being made from raw sinners, and will it last a lifetime in them?
Trust me, that is all you will care about in 2039!
Keep asking the right questions!
Clayton
Ken,
TRUDAT!
Dr. Clayton,
Thank you for the encouragement and practical insight!